when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
whenever i use scissors i always have this brief thought of “ohoho man imagine if i accidentally snipped off my nipple”
It would hurt a lot but it would grow back, nipples are one of the few parts of the body that entirely regenerateU N L I M I T E D N I P P L E SNO DO NOT TRY THIS AT ANY COSTDO NOT CUT OFF YOUR NIPPLES THEY ARE IN FACT LIMITEDL I M I T E D N I P P L E S
When you and you’re friend are trying to do something cool to impress someone and they fuck up